Well boys and girls, things have changed.

In my last profile I told you all of how I was in college and how going and excelling there was the thing that was expected of me from family, friends, old teachers, the pope, etc.

That was like....damn a year ago.

Now I'm not in school.

I had a pretty hard time, I hated the atmosphere, the classes were dull, I felt lonely, tired and very depressed. There was also this developing macular problem in my right eye, which made it hard to see anything at all – and there were headaches and weight loss and all types of wierd stuff going on with my body. But I just wrote it off as freshman blues or whatever, but it became much worse than that. Eventually I became very unfocused and I stopped going to school. I just thought it was because I was being a slacker but there's this little thing called lupus....

It looks like I probably have it. I have all of the symptoms, its definitely a common disease for black females ages 15-45...and it explains a whole lot. I wasnt very educated about this, and when the symptoms came about it was a
sneaky type of thing, I just dismissed it and blamed the mood swings on being...me. But it wasnt until the wierd
skin rash and how I could sleep hours and hours a day and STILL be tired that I finally put two and two together.

As you may or may not know, Lupus is a sneaky little auto immune disease in which the body's cells and antibodies are attacking themselves....(talk about an inner conflicted person). The symptoms can be from this condition
or can stem from other conditions, I have to see a few more specialists to know whats EXACTLY wrong with me, but the first opinion I got was the Big L.

Here I was, thinking I was a lazy loser not wanting to go to school, or even drag myself out of bed in the morning, when it was actually something bigger than me and what I had control of. Even if it's not Lupus, the symptoms are
enough to kick your ass and let you know something is seriously wrong with your body.

Right now, I'm really feeling pensive and deep about things, and I'd really like to give good advice (as well as those smart ass snappies) to people who'd appreciate it. So if there's anyone else who might be going through
what I am, or just has any problems in general don't be afraid to write.

I'll be here.

Sincerely,
Jayne