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First
of all, rent the movie Swingers. The whole movie
deals with the rebound question. Second, of course
"sometimes" this can work out, in fact judging
by the frequency that my ex-boyfriends have gotten married
to the next person they met, I'd say your chances are
pretty goo
d .
In my experience, rebounding is
more of a sexual issue than a relationship issue.
Breaking up is rarely easy for either party, and the longer
the relationship, the bigger the void after its gone.
Especially when your sex life is completely cut-off.
Look at the Details
This is where you have to be more critical
of this guy. Does he talk about his ex all the
time? Is he overly affectionate to you?
Is he moving quickly in the physical sense? Any
of these things can mean that he is trying to replace
his girlfriend with you. On the other hand, consider
the opposite. He has been with another woman for two
years. Consider yourself lucky if they are on
good terms. And really lucky if he tells her about
you. It may feel awkward and you might get jealous,
but if they are friends, it means he didn't give her
reason to hate him, so he won't be using you to try
to get back at her. In this relationship, you
will also have to control your perception, because its
too easy to blame all small conflicts on this socially
imposed concept of the rebound.
Think of men as dogs, but in
a positive light.
(I
love dogs, really) It's nice to get a puppy because
they can be so cute, but an older dog is TRAINED.
This guy should have learned from his old relationship
and ca
n
reinvent himself to you without annoying habits that might've
ruined his last relationship. Know that a guy who
just got out of a relationship at least has the propensity
to be in a committed relationship. Think of how
much better off you are with someone like that than the
guy who has not been in a relationship in two years and
hits up the bars every weekend.
And maybe I'm wrong. Maybe this relationship
could be awful and end before it starts, but let the
basis of a failed relationship be that you are not compatible
after al
l, rather
than the fact that he just came out of a relationship.
Its not often that you find someone that you can feel
comfortable with, so letting this detail dissuade you
from giving the relationship a try would be a mistake.
Good luck!
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