It all boils down to this; (Normally) When you find that certain person, you (and she/he) will KNOW it, with out question (isn't that the way it's 'sposed to be?)

I met the person that I thought was perfect for me...we had a good marriage, a beautiful daughter, nice house, etc. However, I was never truly satisfied, sexually or mentally, with our relationship, but I thought that that was probably "normal".

Yes, I too "lusted" for other women, but NEVER actually followed that lust.(Biblically, lust of the heart is adultery, yes, I know).

17 years later, she came to the conclusion that we were not made for each other. And I owe it to her to make the "jump" and end it there. However,she did commit adultery (of the flesh) and I could never forgive her for that. But(again, Biblically,) was that any worse than my adultery of the heart?). Fortunately, our daughter, 13, has taken every thing in stride..she did not have to change school, lives with her mother (and boyfriend) only 5 minutes away, joint custody, etc. , The divorce has worked out perfectly.
 

I guess what I am getting at is that, I thought that I could love her and all that....but she never was the one that I would do ANYTHING for. Truly, I would have given my life for her, not out of true love, but responsibility, and I am not just saying that. I still would.

I guess maybe,like Joan Wilder( in "Romancing the Stone")that I am a "hopeless romantic". I hope that I can meet the woman that I would quit rubbing Skoal for; throw down my guitar and never play again (if need be); quit fishing and drinking beer for; lose 15 pounds for; etc.  O.K., those arent that big to you, but a woman that would make me WANT to do that, voluntarily, would be a verrrry special person. And that is not the woman "in my dreams". The woman of my dreams would be beautiful, do anything that I wanted, etc. That is only a fantasy, not someone that I would want to live the rest of my with. But, then again........