 |
First
of all, you're married, so stop looking!
To paraphrase from King Solomon, often called the wisest
man to ever live, adultery never delivers what it promises.
 Flee
as fast as you can. Marriage is a commitment to
stay with your mate until death. Period. You willfully
entered
into this lifelong commitment, so now you have to make
it work. If you can't live by those rules now, why do
you think you will be able to make your nex
t marriage
even better?
Besides, you will never EVER truly be fulfilled in
any marriage until you have learned the meaning of true
commitment and unconditional love. If you are comparing
your husband to another man (who by the way will probably
come out looking better until you have actually lived
with him, persevered through the hard times together,
hit that "comfortable" plateau in marriage,
etc., etc.), then you will never find the "right
one."
The very attitude that causes us to go looking,
even if it is even within our own hearts, is the very
thing that prevents us from ultimately finding what
we are looking for. Remember: the grass is greener where
you water it...
The "right one" is by definition, the very
one to whom you have committed yoursel
f,
because that is the key ingredient that allows the relationship
to flourish. In a truly committed relationship, you have
the freedom and security to expose the deepest, most personal
part of yourself to your mate and to develop the intimacy
we all crave.
But marriage takes work
 -
a lot of work. I sympathize with your difficult position
realize how painful it can be to be in a "bad"
relationship, but it doesn't have to stay that way. You
need to realize that often happiness comes more from giving
than receiving, so put your energies into your marriage
and not into this other man. Perhaps you need to seek
counseling with
your husband to work on the problem areas of your marriage
or to develop a deeper friendship and romance with your
husband over time. Maybe now is a good time for both of
you to develop a closer relationship with God and to seek
his strength in your marriage. You should also think about
why you were drawn to him in the first place. You obviously
saw something of value in him -- cultivate those qualities!
One other thing to consider: once you have a child,
you
can no longer think only of yourself and what is best
for you. Obviously, you have a moral obligation to create
the best possible home and life for your child. Keeping
your family intact and making a serious effort to strengthen
your marriage will not only benefit you and your husband,
but your child too. |
