Dear Desperately in love in San Diego,

I once read a statistic that said something like 50% of all young people met their spouses at work. 

But most of us have restraint.

Even though we're not supposed to mess around with co- workers, it sure is tempting when you spend at least 40 hours a week with them.

I have two questions for you:

1. Is He Married?
   Is your boss married/seriously involved?  If he's married/involved, forget about him.  Imagine he is secretly a serial killer.  Stop staring at him.  Use Antonio Banderas for your dreamy fantasies. I say this not because of some old rule about monogamy, but because hooking up with a married man will be nothing but pain and heartache for you.
   
   
   
2. Is This a Job, or a Career?
   

   Before asking him out, they should become friends

   Is this job a part of your career path or is it just something to pay the bills?   If this is a "pay the bills" type job, ask him out.  What have you got to lose? Be ready to quit the job if things don't work out, though. There is nothing more humiliating than being supervised by the guy who dumped you last night.

If this is part of your career path and you really, truly can't concentrate, you have no choice but to leave, transfer, or shift your affections to Antonio Banderas (see above).  Here's why you can't stay in this situation: You're already compromising your work performance by your inability to concentrate. If you hook up with Boss, you're REALLY not going to be able to concentrate. (Those love hormones knock all sense out of a person.)  If Boss rejects you, you'll be embarrased and awkward around the person who holds the key to your career success.

Risk It If He's The One

This is the key

With all that said, however, I still believe that true love is more important than work. 

I still think that it's a bad idea

So if this guy is IT, it will be worth it to quit your job so you can pursue romance with him. 

I think I agree.

Good luck and let me know what happens.

-- Mare