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Dear Hopelessly Waiting:
Itís understandable that you are anxious to have your boyfriend
move near you, especially since you two have been discussing
it for some time. Actions speak louder than words, however,
and perhaps your boyfriend is not quite as ready to make the move.
If so, you need to know what he's feeling so that you can go forward
with your life, either in or out of the relationship.
Ask him point blank, not in an accusatory or pressuring way, but
rather a simple: "I'm really excited that you're going to
move closer. Can we start making the arrangements this week?".
Let him know you want him near you and are willing to help him make
the move. If he continues to say he wants to move but a few
weeks down the line still hasn't made any progress towards actually
doing it, you need to pay close attention to his actions, or lack
thereof. Maybe he's nervous about moving to a new city.
Or, he may not be totally sure about things and needs more time
to decide. If that's the case, you can't really speed up the
process for him, but you can be supportive and understanding while
he's thinking things through.
People don't always progress along the same time-line. It's
for you to decide how long you are willing to wait for him to be
ready, but realize that if he continually hems and haws, the two
of you may have different relationship goals in mind. It's
definitely something that should be discussed openly so that neither
of you feels misled.
Don't put your life on hold while waiting for your boyfriend to
make up his mind; have fun, hang out with your friends and pursue
your interests and hobbies regardless of his indecision. Let
him know you have your own life (and make sure you DO have your
own life!), but would love to have him become a bigger part of it
by moving closer to you.
You can't force him to move, but really, would you want to be with
someone whom you had to "threaten" into moving near you?
Be honest and direct with him and let him know you want the same treatment
in return.
Good luck!
– Jade
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