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Dear Hopelessly,
YOU Move
The very first question that comes to mind is: Why can't
you move to where he is? What in your life is more important
than moving to be with your boyfriend? Because the answer
to that question will be a clue to why he isn't hurrying to leave
his home and job and start over in a new place.
Ask Him To Visit
How much time have you spent with each other in the past year?
Maybe the chance to spend a week or two in each other's home town
will be a good step in the right direction. Rather than asking
him to move, maybe you could ask him to come spend a week with you
and see if he likes where you live and feels comfortable with the
surroundings.
Be Willing To Do the Same
But you have to be willing to do the same for him. There
are lots of times in life when other things take precedence over
a relationship. In this case, pretty much your whole lives
except for the hours you spend on the phone or e-mailing are apart
- and may be more important than the hours together. Moving
is a big change. There is a lot to be said for trying out
a new place and taking chances, but you have to be as comfortable
with the change and risk itself as you are with your commitment
to the relationship.
At least by talking about it, he is indicating an interest in moving.
His slow pace indicates that he is still unsure about it.
Be a little more understanding about his fears and take gradual
steps to a life either together, in the same area, or accepting
that your relationship is going to be a long distance one.
– Judith
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