Reader "Been There " Responds:
I agree with Alicia.
After three years together, I don't think it will make
her seem desperate to tell him how she feels. They should
know each other well enough to be honest.
She can tell him she doesn't like the situation they are
in now without it seeming "desperate" or "needy".
It is possible to be honest and still come from a place
of strength.
It's not realistic to think that she'll lose her feelings
for him overnight, so the way I'd suggest to handle it is
to, in her own way, come to terms with the situation. She
should accept that this has happened, that she doesn't like
it, and then move on. It's never easy, belive me I know.
But at least she would have let him know how she feels.
Just because she was distant before doesn't mean it has
to end that way. If what she wants is a reconciliation,
being honest is the way to go. Look where being distant
got her before. By being honest about her feelings, he'll
be more likely to remember her in a positive light.
He may choose to come back to her, but he may not. She
shouldn't push that issue. Obviously if he is seeing someone
else, there were probably other issues as well. It's best
to shift her focus on herself, her goals and the things
she likes to do.
If it's meant to be, it'll happen.
– Been There
Female, age 28
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