I disagree because I'm in the same situation and I became 'distant' and wanted 'time off' to 'find myself' etc etc (although my ex assumed that I wanted to go for other people during this time off period) and the same thing happened to me--she was emotionally vulnerable and didn't feel needed, and so someone else who had wanted her for a long time moved in and could deliver what I wasn't (love/affection) and so she went with him.

Now, after 6 months of him (I was with her for 2.5 years), my whole world has fallen apart and I have realized that I want her back.

Either I can let her know that I want her back and just wait for as long as it takes, or I can aggressively move in and try my best to win her back. I chose the latter of the two, mainly because there is one major problem in just 'waiting' or giving the ex time: any decision they make to come back to you or to reconsider you will be based on what they remember of you, and since your last 3 or 6 or 9 months were bad, their last memories of you are bad (they were unhappy), so it's absurd to suggest that they will compare their recent memories of you (unhappiness) to their current situation (happiness) and chose you. What you need to do is to show them how committed and changed you are, prove to them that you will make them happier than anyone else and have learned a life's lesson in what has happened, and thus give them a better impression of you from which to choose who they want.

Hilfiga