Alicia Answers

I have a problem (duh)!

I dated this guy for about 2 years. After we broke up, he found out that I had cheated on him, but then I found out that he had gone out with his ex after we had broken up, but while we were still talking (and intimate).

We were both wrong, but he acts as if he is innocent and he places all the blame on me. We still talk, go out, don't see other people and etc. as if we were a couple, but he says that he doesn't know if he can trust me enough to get back together with me?

I love him too much to let him go. I have even tried to go out with other people, but I always end up crying & missing him when I'm with someone else! Any advice?

Lonely & Confused

Alicia Answers:

Dear Lonely & Confused-

You need to pick yourself up off the floor and move on. I have been in post-relationship relationships and they only breed desperation, self-pity and more pain.

By letting a relationship linger after it is over, you will become accustomed to wanting and waiting. Because he can't trust you for cheating on him in the relationship, he is making you feel guilty and isn't shouldering any of the blame himself for

Move on, I think the trust is gone.

things that did not go right for your relationship. It sounds like he is getting the luxury of a girlfriend (you are, after all, still intimate) but he doesn't have to commit solely to you. He is working with vengeance and by not "officially" getting back together with you, he doesn't have to commit. That means he is keeping his options open, which will always come back to hurt you.

Rebuilding a Life Takes Time

I understand that after 2 years, you really love this guy, but it will be very hard to put the pieces back together and make this work. You are better off distancing yourself from him.

Being alone gives you the time to learn about yourself

And I know that everything you see, everywhere you go, is probably a constant reminder of him, but you'll get over it, little by little, and you'll cry a little less, and then one day you'll meet someone and wonder what had kept you from dating for so long. And then you'll think about that guy that broke you're heart, and you'll realize that it really wasn't that bad. Let it go and you'll be a stronger woman because of it.

-Alicia

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