Hope Answers:

SerNdypyT,

Don't Choke It

I agree entirely. This situation is a deja vu for me.

First of all, relax!  If you have a wonderful relationship with this guy and he says he loves you and is committed to you, you must loosen up your grip before you choke the relationship.

The only reason you would need to question his words is if his actions don't line up with his words. For example, he says he loves you, but do his actions indicate that he loves you?  If they do, then why would you have a reason not to trust what he says?

Losing your Identity

Yep – she has to do her own thing and use some time for herself.

Second, it sounds as though you might be revolving too much of yourself and your life around this relationship.

A healthy relationship should not have fear. The fact that it does indicates that maybe you have "lost" yourself in this relationship, so losing your boyfriend would leave your life totally empty. Trust me - I once had a habit of choking relationships by holding on too tightly. My fear became paranoia, and then my boyfriends would typically lose patience -- and respect -- for me, because I revolved my world around the relationship. I BECAME my boyfriends!

I suggest you loosen up, enjoy the relationship, and try to find a good balance between your time with him and your time with friends, job, etc.

She should be happy that he's got a job and he's moving forward in his life.

Also keep in mind that he will have more responsibilities now that he is graduated from high school, so you can expect that he will have more demands on his time. This is natural, so don't worry about it!

– Hope

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