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Dear
Clare-
It sounds like you've got a lot to work out with your
boyfriend and yourself. If you separate the issues
you have to deal with, it might be easier to resolve.
The fact that you like your house shouldn't have a lot
to do with if you forgive him for sleeping with another
woman. And the fact that you love your cute little
dog won't help you figure out if you really love him.
I think the most important thing for you to figure
out is if you do truly love him. Is this a relationship
that you want to commit to and endure for the rest of
your life? If it's not, its better that
you get out now, before you're married with children
asking if you married the wrong man.
However, it sounds to me like
 you
do love him, and there may not be a ring on your finger,
but buying a house is certainly a long term commitment.
It sounds like you want to forgive him, but you are
dwelling on the fact that he cheated on you, and understandably
so. By forgiving him, you run the risk of him
believing that he can get a way with cheating, and you
definitely don't want him thinking that. On the
other hand, he told you about his affair. He could've
kept it to himself, or he could've been having
a repeated affair with this woman.
I think that if you want this
to work, you should seek relationship counseling.
There are so many emotions that reverberate after something
like this happens that you sometimes don't even know
it. Like how many times have you thought about
it and gone from angry and blaming him to questioning
yourself like if you had done something different than
he wouldn't have gone elsewhere? The pain and
depression aren't going to go away until you believe
that there was nothing you could have done to prevent
this from happening.
Your boyfriend sounds like he is trying to make amends
with you and if you don't try to trust him, your relationship
will never recover.
 Really
think about your life and if your situation is making
you happy or if you are just comfortable because if you
stay in a relationship that is not right for you, it will
only get worse.
Good luck with everything
-Alicia
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