Alicia said:

If you want this to work you should seek relationship counseling.

I think relationship counseling is a terrific idea, but it may not keep the relationship together. I had this same problem. At the five year mark, my partner told me that he'd had an affair with someone while working at an in-town convention. He was sorry. He felt bad. He said there was no romance. He said the sex was horrible (as if I was supposed to feel better about the whole thing because he didn't enjoy himself). I was wrecked. But I didn't want to roll over and give up. So we went to couples counseling. After several months, it became uncomfortably clear to me that I was making no progress whatsoever in regaining my trust in him. No matter what I did, or what we did, the trust wasn't returning. I got to the point where I didn't even like him anymore. We ended up separating. It hurt like hell. Now, some six years later, after a couple more short-term relationships and some more life experience on my part, I can truthfully say that I don't know if I did the right thing. I guess it's all a natural part of loving and learning. When you're not as close to the pain, sometimes things look different. The further you get down the road the more you realize that relationships are just plain difficult. They take a lot of work and a lot of forgiveness and a lot of time. (I know this isn't a popular idea these days, but I think it's an honest one.) If the "perfect" relationship exists, I certainly don't think I've ever seen it. Or maybe I just need to change my perspective on what that means. The only thing I know for sure is that I still have a really difficult time trusting my partners. Will someone cheat on me again? If they do, will they tell me? I wish I knew the answers, but that's not the way life works. My best advice is to see if you can work through the emotions of betrayal and regain trust. (Not that I think it's an easy thing to do. I, personally, couldn't make it happen.) If you can, give the relationship a chance to work. If you can't, look for a relationship that holds better odds of making you happy. The "perfect", "easy" relationship may not exist, but you deserve a relationship where there is trust; where the ratio of good to bad is weighted for the good. signature = In Peace, Yajna