Thank you very much for your appreciation of how busy we are.  However the reason that we are so busy is that we have DAY jobs, professions that us panelists are QUALIFIED to do.  Then, when we have enough time, we give advice.  I'm not sure that our advice is better than your firends' advice.  Hell, half the time I don't take my own advice.  And my advice is usually to tune in to Adam Carolla.

Luckily, I do have some thoughts for you.  I think that one of the problems that you are facing is the basic injustice of life.  Let us agree that your boyfriend has done something bad.  That a "quickie over a desk at work" is a bad thing, far worse than leaving a cap off the toothpaste or forgetting to put on deodorant, two things that I have been called to task for. This quickie was a major bad thing, not only because it is generally thought of as being an immoral act, but also it affects your relationship and you, personally.

So what's the punishment?  If this is a bad deed, what kind of punishment does your boyfriend receive?  When I make a rolling stop at a stop sign, I may get whacked with all kinds of fines and traffic school and lectures-I actually feel bad.  Yet your boyfriend gets off with a brief apology and a rationalization that

"it was nothing romantic". 

Wouldn't it be comforting to fine

him $10000

as his penalty?  Or to remove his left testicle, to be given back after he's off probation?  Or to penalize him 2 points in every future tennis game?

Of course most of these penalties are impossible to impose, and may be illegal.  However it sure would be comforting for justice to be meted.  Yet paradoxically, the only punishments you can give out are things that would hurt your relationship, i.e. no sex, constant reminding, keeping him on a short leash, etc.  This is one of the big reasons why I think a "little quickie" is so difficult to get over-no sense of justice being done and little you can directly do about that.