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Dear Love Lorn –
Take
the Risk
Here's the thing: in
all my experience of falling for friends, there is no way to NOT
jeopardize the friendship. If you want something more to happen,
and you can't wait for him to make a move, you have to take a risk.
There will be guys who like the security of friendship who will
be chased away by a friend making a move only to attach on to another
girl who will be "just a friend".
But, there are guys who
have the same "fear" that moving forward can damage the
friendship, so they don't. And sometimes, that can damage
the relationship, too, because if there is hope for evolution that
never happens, people move on.
Ask
Him
There IS one way to be
absolutely sure if he feels the same way about youæbut it takes
riskæASK HIM!!!
If he is a friend he
will understand you're feelings and won't shy away if he's not interested.
And
trust your instinct. If
you think he feels the same about you, he probably does.
Don't
Be a "Title"
One word of caution:
don't try to be a title. What I mean by that is "friends"
is a very loose term that can mean a lot of different things to
a lot of people. As the title "upgrades", for lack of
a better term, perceptions of that role tend to influence our behavior.
Suppose you become his
"Girlfriend". For him that might mean leave everything
the same except now you can be physical, while for you it might
mean he's yours and he has to spend more time with you. Maybe
you don't want him to be kissing you all of the time, maybe he would
rather hang out with his friends.
If you decide to make
the move, make sure you two are on the same page about which direction
you want your relationship to go in, because it might turn out you'd
rather keep him as a friend.
Good luck!
– Alicia
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