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Dear Love Lorn,
Before I got married,
I would have answered "Absolutely, yes!" But I am
beginning to look at things a little differently...
We
Took It Slowly
My husband and I had
a very strong friendship before getting romantically involved, and
that foundation of friendship has definitely strengthened our marriage.
We took things slowly, and I waited for him to make the moves instead
of orchestrating everything or trying to "make things happen."
If I had rushed things
out of desperation or out of the "you'll lose him if you don't
act now" mentality, I think he would have lost respect for
me, and I would have threatened him. Things
would not have unfolded at their natural pace.
Rushing
It Will Jeopardize the Friendship
If there really is a
mutual care and romantic interest between the two of you, I think
it will come out naturally in time. I would be careful of rushing
it, because if it doesn't work out, you will probably jeopardize
your friendship.
Let
Him Make the First Move
I don't think you should
totally give up on the idea of telling him how you feel,but
it might be better
to let him somehow
make the first move.
Look at it this way:
if you don't get romantically involved just yet, you will still
have a close friend that you really care about. The time you are
investing in the friendship now will only serve to strengthen your
romantic relationship in the future, if it blossoms. And if he does
have feelings for you as you suspect he does, then he will probably
approach you when he is ready.
– Hope
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