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Dear
Panel,
Before
I lose my mind completely I'll try to explain my situation so
maybe someone can give me advice:
After
a truly blissful period where we were planning to move in together
and dividing holidays between our families, my boyfriend and I
went through a very rough period. Things happened out of
our control (sickness, car accidents, family problems).
Toward the end of this period I graduated from college and have
been trying to pay rent with no income.
Needless
to say we were both very moody and took a lot of things out on
eachother. It got to the point that we knew we would have
to break up but I think we still loved eachother so we didn't.
A
little over a month ago he said we had to separate because he
couldn't stand the unhappiness anymore. I was crushed but
said that if he was going to give up I wasn't going to chase him.
His
birthday was a couple of weeks later and because I had missed
him so much I had a CD made of all of "our songs" and
had a package delivered to his work. He called after that
crying but said we were past the point of no return. He
said he was kind of seeing someone and wasn't happy but at least
he wasn't unhappy. Then I started crying and he said that
maybe down the road we would get back together but he couldn't
think about it now.
This
is where the main problem lies. We have hung out a couple
times since then and we always end up in bed. He feels guilty
afterward because he doesn't want to lead me on and he is kind of
cheating on this other girl even though there is no commitment.
I ask him why he continues to make the same mistake and he says
that he really cares about me and needs me in his life, he just
can't explain or describe the feeling.
So,
after all of that, is he using me?
He never seemed like that kind of person but then again I never
thought he would leave me either. Should I break all ties
for my own well being? Should I hold onto my last shred of
hope that someday soon we will be together? I love him a lot
and I miss him constantly. Somebody please help.
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