Youch!  I hate baggage!  You both must have said some nasty things and acted in nasty ways to each other.  And now you share all that bad baggage.  What to do...what to do...

Well sometimes there IS no going back.  Sometimes that old nasty baggage is just too much to throw away, and even with counseling and therapy it might stay in the closet, just waiting to come out.  After all, life is full of crises.  What happens the next time one of you gets sick?  What happens if you have a kid (a major crisis in itself)?

I don't think your boyfriend is trying to use you.

If he cared about her - why does he have this other relationship?

  I think he probably has as many mixed feelings as you do about this whole situation.  He's trying to work his way through it, and has very strong feelings for you, and yet feels that that the baggage is too great to surmount.  I see no inconsistency in either his or your feelings-this is a difficult situation and you're both trying to work your way through it.

Your boyfriend does appear to be moving on, somewhat.  It's never a good situation to be the "other" woman

She should END it now.

. I would suggest making sure your life is straightened out, focussing on other interests and see what happens.  Maybe you too will realize another romantic interest or maybe you can develop

She should END it now.

a stronger relationship with your boyfriend that won't be upset by crises. But you should establish yourself in your own life and focus on other things for awhile.

I agree, I've been there too.

  And the lesson you might want to take away is that crises can either make a relationship stronger or tear it apart.

She should END it now.

  Be prepared for future crises in you life and handle them better.  Throw that baggage overboard before it controls the trip.

Lefty