Dear Drunken Love,

I don't quite get your relationship with this guy, and that has some bearing on my advice.  "Hot and cold" usually means more than "just friends", so I assume that you've had either sex or heavy petting with him before your "drunken love".

The most positive thing that you've said about this guy is that he's your very good friend.  If more people would fall in love with their good friends, rather than just someone that they're sexually attracted to, there would be far more happy and fulfilling marriages.

On the other hand, here's a guy you've slept with and yet you can't even talk about your relationship with him.  And I'm not sure it's entirely HIS problem.  What the heck was up with firing off that "I didn't mean it" letter?  You EXPECT not to hear back from someone you've been intimate with? Come on, there's mungo problems here.

Ok, if you are serious about a relationship with this guy, explore matters with him and force a discussion.

I think that's part of the problem, she doesn't know how she feels.

If you're not serious about him but want to pursue some other fulfilling relationship, then keep him as a friend and go looking.  But this "hot and cold" thing does not sound healthy to me the way it's presently going.

-- Lefty