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Dear Panel,

I desperately need some advice and I hope you are willing to help me.  I have been talking to this girl I met for about 9 months now.  I have been unable to be with her because she has severe family problems. During this period I have fallen for her.  She is the first and only girl I have ever fallen for.  Earlier in the week we had a discussion where she told me she can't see me anytime soon, and she doesn't know when she will be able too.  She left me with about a week to make a tough decision. 

What am I going to do?  I have thought of 3 possible things I could do, but I hate all of them.  They are 1) Move on.  2) Continue being her friend and wait until someday when she can be with me.  3)  Try to have a long-distance relationship until someday we can have a real relationship.  Are there any other things I can do?  What should I do?  Please help I'm hurt and confused.  Thanks. yelbtblk.gif

 

Cariad Answers:

Chris, why can't this girl be with you? Family problems? Are you sure she isn't just using that as an excuse??

Surely if she really wanted to be with you, she'd find a way. And I think you know that that is true - which is why you say you are hurt. It's possible that she is using you as a crutch to help her along with her problems; perhaps even if all the obstacles that keep you apart disappeared tomorrow, she still wouldn't have a relationship with you.

I think you need to move on.  Find a proper relationship, one where there is an equal amount of give and take.

You don't lose self-respect if you are helping someone dealing with severe problemas.

aliciaLtin.gifWalk away now, and you'll take some self respect with you. Good luck.

 

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