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Dear Panel,

I desperately need some advice and I hope you are willing to help me.  I have been talking to this girl I met for about 9 months now.  I have been unable to be with her because she has severe family problems. During this period I have fallen for her.  She is the first and only girl I have ever fallen for.  Earlier in the week we had a discussion where she told me she can't see me anytime soon, and she doesn't know when she will be able too.  She left me with about a week to make a tough decision. 

What am I going to do?  I have thought of 3 possible things I could do, but I hate all of them.  They are 1) Move on.  2) Continue being her friend and wait until someday when she can be with me.  3)  Try to have a long-distance relationship until someday we can have a real relationship.  Are there any other things I can do?  What should I do?  Please help I'm hurt and confused.  Thanks. yelbtblk.gif

 

Lefty Answers:

Dear Chris,

I don't know if I can help you, but I can certainly give advice.  Except that I may need one possibly critical thing you left out of your letter-WHAT IS THE TOUGH DECISION YOU HAVE TO MAKE??  Jeez, sorry for shouting, but not only is that probably important to know, but I'm very curious as to what it is.

First of all, it is my opinion that there's ALWAYS time for someone you love.  No matter if you're in the middle of college finals week, football season, or even a family crisis. You have to make time for your significant other.

But he is not her significant other - and it would be natural for her to focus on herself now.

aliciaLtin.gifThere will always be crises and how you handle them may determine the strength of your relationship.  After all,

If you are saying that she would find the time if she wanted to, I agree.

guestFtin.gif who better to support this girl in her time of need than someone like you who should have her best interests at heart?

But... you can only control the things you have control over.  You cannot control her decision not to see you anytime soon.  She's made the call and now you have to live with it.

And only he can decide if he can live with it.

aliciaLtin.gif

It is usually not a good idea to put your life on hold, waiting for someone who doesn't want to be with you.  Take control over what you can and focus on your own life and other interests.  You may want to try to keep in contact with her, but she should not be the center of your existence-it looks like she has made that decision.

Lefty

 

 

Tell us what you think grnbut.gif

 
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