Alicia Answers

Dear Panel,

Hi, I'm a 23 y.o female who met a wonderful guy 6 months ago. We both fell for each other quickly and moved just as fast. 4 months into the relationship I find out he is in a very unhappy marriage and wants out of the marriage. I was shocked and unbelievably depressed I listened to my friends and tried to move on regardless of his sincere feelings for me but it's hard to move on when that person became your best friend and he won't leave you alone, and I wasn't sure I wanted him to leave me alone. [...]

This is way too much for me I would really like to keep him in my life just as friend maybe date casually but deep down I know he's not the one for me, so why do I get depressed when I'm away from him even though he drives me crazy?? What do I do to get my life back on track?? Please help asap. Thanks.

Too Confused

Alicia Answers:

Dear Too Confused-

Mr. Wonderful is not as wonderful as you thought.

He ambiguity is not tricking him - he is using it to manipulate her.

Get away from this guy as fast as you can. If he is unhappy in his marriage, it is no concern of yours. He has to deal with that with his wife. Your ambiguity will only trick him into believing that you want him as he supposedly wants you and you will become trapped in a false relationship.

It never feels good losing somebody that you care about, but in the long run, telling this guy he cannot be a part of your life will pay off for you. You have to find strength, whether it means changing your look, doing new things or developing new hobbies or hanging out at a new place. You have to move on with your life.

This guy, no matter how bad his relationship is with his wife, is still married and he is cheating. He also lied by waiting four months to tell you he is married. Bail out while you are still sane. He doesn't deserve you. It always hurts when you realize Mr. Right is Mr. Wrong, but pick yourself up, learn from this, and try again.

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