Alicia Answers

Dear Panel,

well, um.....i went out with this guy for about 11 months and we broke up over something stupid. And now it's been 8 months since we're not together. But he just recently asked out this girl, and was one of my close friends!(well not anymore) and they've been goin out for about 2 months. like 2 days ago i went to my friend's house and he was there also and we started to get close again. but like 2 weeks ago the girl that he's goin out with almost cheated on him. so when we were cuddling at my friend's house i asked him if he's only with me to get back at her and he said no. he still loves me! and i just wanted to know if i should kiss him or do even more things with him when we get close again? Because i still love him and i still want him back!

Elmo69

p.s. i hope none of this is confusing you guys!

Alicia Answers:

I'll speak for myself and say first of all, this question did not confuse me. And you sound much more confused than you should be. There are a bunch of little psychological power plays going on here.

I'm not jealous at all

I think that, down deep, you are jealous that your friend has your ex-boyfriend. You want to show her that you are better, that he likes you more, that you are the best that he has ever had.

Everyone at one time has to prove their worth and counter their feelings of inadequacy. If you care anything about your friend and want to stay friends you need to let them fix their problems and if that means by them breaking up, then you can make your move but at least wait for the body to get cold.

To be honest, this guy doesn't sound that great. If he's dating your friend, he should not be telling you

I agree - he is telling her what she wants to hear.

that he loves you. If anything, I think it's greedy and egotistical for him to try to play you both, and if you let him, it could destroy your relationship with your friend and break your heart.

But you know what? You sound young so I assume you are, and I remember high school dating sorta had that "take one down, pass him around" kinda vibe, so your friend dating your ex and you stealing him back isn't that uncommon.

What you need to do is decide if you love him or if you want him because you don't have him. Only then can you go in with a clear head and decide how you want to handle the situation.

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