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I think he
is very wise to realize that you need time to heal and to
have some independence before entering into another serious
relationship. I think he sincerely wants you to be committed
to him, not on a rebound. It takes a lot of maturity and selflessness
to allow you the time and space to regain your independence
and heal for awhile, even if it means that he could lose you.
One way you
can know his true intentions is to see if he dates other people
during this time of "slowing things down." If this
time is really for you to heal from your broken marriage,
then he will
remain faithful to you and wait for you, as he said he would.
If, however, this is just his way of letting you down easy (which
I don't think it is), then you will eventually know by the way
he handles the relationship over this "slowing down"
period. (Does he still call? Does he still show you that he
cares for you, or does he disappear?)
Regardless,
I think it is rarely a good idea to jump right into another
serious relationship right after a breakup,
especially a divorce. It sounds like he is acknowledging that
and wants to do this the right way. I also believe that a
little distance and time in a relationship cam sometimes be
a good test of each partner's commitment. If the relationship
can't handle a little separation to allow one partner to grow,
then how could it handle the challenges of a committed marriage?
If you have a solid foundation for this relationship, then
the time apart will only strengthen you individually and strengthen
the commitment you have for each other in the long run.
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