Lefty Answers

Dear Panel,

I am in a 4 year relationship with John Doe and we are both the same age and still very much in love, but lately I have been getting a bit discouraged from continuing the relationship. His sudden interest in pornography has decreased my desire to see him, although he is always willing to see me. For example, he downloads pictures of nude women to decorate his instant messenger on his computer. I think his friends play a part in influencing him. He always tells me I am sexy and perfect and fun, so I wonder, why does he seem to lean toward these bigger busted women? John knows I don't like it, but doesn't do anything about it. I have decided not to let him touch me until he respects my feelings. In the meantime,I've met Gary, a wonderful guy who is interested in me, at work and I am pondering the possibility of making one of the hardest choices of my life: stay and endure what John's putting me through, or leave him to date Gary.

What can I do?

Lorraina

Lefty Answers:

Dear Lorraina,

How often do you see this pornography that John is obsessed with? Do you have to visit him, make him turn on his computer and wait until his screen saver activates in order to see that dastardly stuff?

The problem is that he is engaging in a destructive and addictive habit.

I'm not sure what the real problem is here. From what you've described, old John seems like a perfectly healthy, hormone-enhanced, male 20-year-old. One who seems interested in you and tries to make sure that you know it. And no, just because he leans towards pictures of big bazzooms, doesn't mean he's any less interested in your non-cyber, real-to-life body. Following that logic, because I like watching Baywatch means that I would never have ANY interest in real women. Hey, maybe THAT'S my problem. I'll have to talk that over with Mr. Sensitive.

Anyway, by doing the math, it looks like you started dating John when you were both 16. I think maybe it's time for you to move on. And if you come up with ideas like not letting him touch you until he demonstrates some respect (I'm not sure what this "respect" means), I think you'll have some assistance with regards to moving on.

Lefty

Tell us what you think

Site Design by: