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A
Reader responds:
It's possible
to love someone and have sexual fantasies at the same time.
Date
People Who Share Your Views
Regarding what
you are comfortable with, you should be in a relationship
with someone whose views mesh with your own. Don't date
someone who doesn't respect your feelings or share them.Some
people of both sexes don't tolerate porn of any kind; others
join swingers clubs with their partners. I know where I
fall in that spectrum and I'll try to date people in the
same place as me.
Porn
Is Not Real
Also...porn is
not real. I do have problems with porn, but in the same
way I have probs with TV advertisements, commercialism and
lottery tickets. They create false "needs" and
turn everything into something that can be bought. It ALL
objectifies ALL of us (man, woman, and child).
Separating
the Medium from Reality
Still--the healthy
among us know the claims are fake and the movies are just
stories and that porn is not reality. It's similar to music.
I don't think healthy teens go out and shoot their classmates
becuase they hear a song--they've got to already have a
lot of problems to begin with.
Too
Hard To Control Everything
You can't control
everything--your boyfriend can fantasize just as well watching
Baywatch and it would be hard to police everything...The
problem is you can't define porn well enough and we all
have different threshholds.
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