Dear Monica

I Used To Believe in Platonic Friendships

The concept of a platonic relation sux.

I once believed that there was such as thing as a strictly platonic opposite sex friendship. In fact, I have been involved in several over the years that I convinced myself were "safe" because they were platonic. But I was proven wrong every time. I have come to realize that it is extremely difficult to maintain a truly platonic opposite sex friendship over time, especially for women.

Women Get Attached Easily

I wholeheartedly disagree.

It is relatively easy for a guy to be friends with a girl without a deep emotional attachment, but women tend to get attached very easily, especially if their emotional needs are being met. If it is a good solid friendship, then obviously the man will meet some of those needs and emotions will inevitably be involved.

This is not an exclusive thing with women.

In just about every "platonic" friendship I have been in, "friendship" feelings gradually migrated into romantic feelings over time (not necessarily on my side).

The Line Is Too Fine

As a friendship grows and deepens, how can you not develop more intense loyalty, admiration, and attachment toward the other person? With a member of the opposite sex, the line between friendly and romantic feelings is too fine to not cross over, so it usually does. In fact, most really solid healthy relationships start out as a friendship.

WHO considers this inappropiate? You don't make sense.

Inappropriate for Married People

It is absolutely ridiculous to say that it's inappropriate! Friendships are friendships, regardless of gender.

That is why it is commonly considered inappropriate for married people to maintain exclusive "platonic" relationships with members of the opposite sex.

I agree because I am in this situation as we speak. It is very hard.

It is too dangerous. The attachment and feelings that evolve out of a good friendship almost always lead to a deeper emotional bond with the other person that is not easily broken. Our feelings can sometimes also trick us, making us think that true love is there, when in fact it is nothing more than infatuation or admiration that we are feeling.

Platonic Friendship Will Lead to Romantic Feelings

I disagree - I have a female female friend and we have a platonic relationship.

So if I had to pick a side, I would say that a platonic friendship will eventually lead to romantic feelings, at least for one person involved (regardless of whether either person is already in a relationship).

I think platonic guy-girl relationships very much exist.

– Hope