When Tammy Wynette sang, "Stand by Your Man", I don't think she had you in mind. First, you're only 19 and I don't think you should be tied down to anyone. Second, he's a long, long way away. Unless you're a millionaire who can jet up to Minnesota to see him on weekends, maybe this arrangement is not the best option.

Now you're going to be tempted to start dating the new guy and not say anything about it to Bobby. You'll have your reasons. First, it will be "I can't break up with Bobby until he has the operation." Then it will be "until he recovers from the operation" and so on. But you won't really be protecting him; you'll be cheating on him. I suggest that you breakup with him as soon as possible and offer him all of the love and support that a friend can offer. It sounds like you feel a loyalty to him, so offering friendship shouldn't be difficult.

As for the new guy: as soon as you've made the split with Bobby, go to town. But why limit yourself to one man? You probably haven't dated anyone other than Bobby. There are all kinds of great men out there waiting for someone like you. Oh yeahå when the time is right, use condoms.