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Please
get some counseling. If Karin
won't go with you, then you need to go yourself.
I am very concerned that you have mentioned ending your
life. You need to talk to someone who can be an
objective listener.
A counselor could also help you learn some strategies
for helping Karin with her pain -- one
suggestion might be to listen to her talk instead of
trying to solve her problems for her.
 You
mention that you have aplogized to Karin "again and
again." After a while, apologies
don't hold much weight. By going to counseling, you commit
an action which speaks much more loudly than your words
ever could. After you have been attending counseling regularly,
Karin will see some proof of your level of committment
to the relationship.
I am not sure if you were involved
with this woman you met at work. Either way, it is apparent
that there are some real trust issues in your relationship
that need work. This is something that would be
good to explore if Karin is willing to attend counseling
with you.
Finally, you don't mention how old Allyson is, but
she might need someone to talk to as well. Please consider
finding a counselor to help her out. She's had a lot
of changes in her life so far.
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