Dear MikeyG from Alaska,

Examine How You Started the Relationships

What would probably be best for you to do at this point is to do some thinking about the beginning of your relationship with your girlfriend.  What was different about your interaction with her that made you want her as a girlfriend instead of just a friend?  Maybe you find her really attractive or maybe she expressed an interest in you and you responded.  After you've done that, you can do some thinking about your friend and see what it is that has kept the relationship a friendship up until now.

There Wasn't Much Difference

Now, for your bigger question, what is the difference between a girlfriend and a best friend?  For everyone I ever dated up until I met my fiancé, there really wasn't much of a difference.  The men I dated were more like good friends with whom I happened to have a physical relationship. 

A Profound Connection

I think things are different when you fall in love with the person you'll be with for the rest of your life.  It's a very deep, profound feeling.  With my fiancé, there are all the elements of physical attraction combined with the best friend I've ever known, and a connection beyond anything I've ever experienced.

Be Honest

I admire you for not wanting to hurt the feelings of either of these women you are close to.  You sound like a very kind person, and I think you will agree that honesty is necessary in this situation.  Try to sort out your feelings and then go from there.  You may want to continue dating your girlfriend, or you may want to date your best friend, or you may want to take a break from dating at all.  I think you will do what's best once you can sort things out a little. 

Good luck.
– Gillian