Dear Daisy,

It is truly unfortunate that your boyfriend and your mother have put you in such a position. In addition to acting childish, they are also exhibiting complete selfishness. Not only are they not considering your feelings they are also, apparently, indifferent to the feelings of your children.

If your boyfriend will not permit your mother in his house, I would find a neutral place where you could tell them how you feel about this matter (if they are not currently speaking to one another, assure them that they don't have to say a word; all they have to do is listen).

Talk It Through

Talking won't help. She should call his bluff.

Tell each of them how much you love them and then explain how this situation has compromised and hurt you. If it helps, try to empathize with their feelings and frustrations but also explain how uncomfortable and difficult it has been to be placed in the middle of two such important people in your life. If it is impossible to get them together, I would make time to speak with each of them individually.

Don't Be The Middle- Man

The bottom line is this, Daisy - we teach people how to treat us through our actions. Tell them that they are entitled to their feelings but that you will not play the role of the middle-man any longer. They will each have to accept that the other has a right to be an active part of your life.

Good luck to you.

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