Dear Guilty,

This has always been the sort of thing that really gets on my nerves. Let me make something clear to you before I even get started. It is okay for you to have male friends.

Everyone Has A Past

No. If he's worried about her past, she does have to earn his trust.

I am not really sure what it is about your history that makes your boyfriend not trust you, but I know this much, everyone has a past. My father, who is a minister, is always found of saying Judge not lest ye be judged. I'm sure your boyfriend has a few skeletons rattling around in his closet. He has no right to condemn you for the contents of yours.

The problems you are facing have to do with his lack of trust. He also seems to have a few control issues as well. Reading your emails? What's next? Is he going to make you wear a wire when you are out of his sight? No one deserves that kind of treatment. Neither should they put up with it for a second.

You Have A Right to Other Relationships

You have a right to the other relationships in your life. You have a right to have friends, regardless of gender. We all have to have those, besides our primary relationship. You can not grow as a person without them. I know many people who have multi-gender friendships, and their partners are okay with it. The difference is in the emotional maturity of the people they are with.

All of that aside, your boyfriend possesses a serious problem. It's not just jealousy. I know guys (and myself included) who have fallen prey to the emotion of jealousy, but we have never violated the privacy of our significant other, nor have we tried to control them. Reading your letter, I found his actions to be quite creepy. It is not normal or justifiable behavior.

End It

Wait! She should try talking honestly with him first.

In the end, my sincere advice to you is to cut him loose. You deserve a right to your privacy, to be trusted, and a right to be friends with whoever you damn well please to be.

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