Dear Trying to be Patient,

I believe that a relationship should be equal in many respects. One of the ways that this can manifest itself, is for both partners to want to proceed at similar speeds along the road to carnal knowledge. If one partner goes faster than the other, then one person may be seen to be "withholding", or the other to be "pressuring". One partner is usually seen as having more power or "hand" with regards to this.

A certain amount of this is to be expected, and in our culture, the male is usually the aggressor, just as in this situation. And teasing and waiting and other means of playing with this situation can be fun. Also, soul mates are all well and wonderful, but if that isn't mixed in with some good old-fashioned gorilla sex every now and then, then when can a guy get to the good stuff?

There's no problem at all with you pursuing a relationship at any speed you feel comfortable; that is what you should do. However, it should also feel comfortable to your partner, and if it does not, then one of you needs to make adjustments, or get a new partner who is not only a soul mate but goes at your speed. Oh, and there's also nothing wrong in calling your gentleman caller and making sure that he knows you consider him to be special.

Lefty

PS Check out what I told "Frustrated" about partners having different libidos.