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Dear Dating Again,
You ask the question, "is he just an old fashioned guy who's taking
things slow or should I take it as a sign he's not that interested?"
My guess is that it's the former. You're right that it was bold
of him to come over at 4 a.m.
He Was Excited To See You
He was excited enough to want to see you and be near you at that
moment. The fact that you didn't connect physically probably means
that it is something he is insecure about. If he is insecure, asking
him, "hey don't you find me attractive?" probably won't help.
I guess the ball's kind of in his court. If he calls you again
for a date, he's still interested. The physical connection will
be something that develops. If he seems to want to be closer to
you physically but it isn't happening, then I would gently raise
the issue. Try to come from a place of strength: "I really like
you, but I get the feeling you might not be very comfortable being
intimate, is there anything I can do?"
He might be the kind of person who is uncomfortable with physical
displays of affection. My parents have been happily married for
40 years, but I have almost never seen them kiss or hold hands.
Keeping the physical intimacy a secret is kind of exciting.
 He
Didn't Regret Coming Over
You said that you cuddled in bed ... he clearly likes the intimacy
with you.
Another possibility is that something else is going on. He may
have a serious other relationship, and his approach/avoidance of
you may be happening because he is guilty about the other person.
Charlie
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