I am ..31 year old male. Kind of shy and not too outgoing.

Main person: A 24 year old female. Very outgoing.

Story : I have a question regarding a situation I've gotten myself into with a female at work. She started about three months ago and after providing her with direction around work and places to eat, she asked me to lunch. We went and have been going each week for three months now. She only has one day a week that she doesn't bring her lunch and that's the day we go.

On the third lunch she mentions to me she has a boyfriend. I was a bit shocked, but it was kind of late for me. I was really into her. Also, the way she spoke of her boyfriend gave me the impression she wasn't too serious. She spoke of how he was going away for a couple of years to attend school, etc. I figured she was preparing to move on.

Over the past month she has spoken more about him and with more enthusiasm. I'm not sure why. Our lunches lead to us going on breaks together, etc. It didn't seem that her interest in me was fading, but she talked more and more about him.

Anyway, it finally got to the point where I had to know what was going on. I sent her an e-mail letting her know I was interested in her. I knew that it would either clear things up, or ruin what we had. She replied that my feelings for her didn't bother her and that if I wanted to torment myself she was still interested in going to lunch. She stated that she was pretty sure I knew where she stood and that there should be no surprises there.

I really couldn't leave it at that. First of all it doesn't seem right that if she has a boyfriend that she would still do things with me after I declared my feelings for her. So I decided to expand. I explained that I needed to know what she got from me and what she wanted from me. I told her all the things that attract me to her because I thought it only fair that she knows what I find interesting in her.

She wrote back that she does lunch with me because I am nice. And what other reason does she need. I found that answer to be quite lacking. I know so many nice people, but I wouldn't go out to lunch every week with them (let alone breaks and such). And why doesn't she go to lunch with anyone but me?

The last thing I sent her was regarding how we started and how she didn't mention her boyfriend until our third lunch, etc. I haven't heard back from her yet. I probably won't until Monday at work. As far as I know we are still on for lunch this Wednesday. She said we could talk about this during lunch if it would make me feel better.

Am I missing something here? Of the girls I know, none said they would continue to have regular lunches and breaks with a guy that has declared his feelings unless they felt the same. Not to mention if they had a boyfriend, it would end immediately out of respect for the boyfriend. Also, being nice isn't a solid reason for doing regular lunches and breaks with someone. There must be something they like, right? Something like conversations, companionship, etc. Right?

Is there any way to make sense of all this? I really like her. Even if there is no future, I feel she isn't being very honest with me. I think there is something more to how she feels, or what her motive is/was. Of course all this could be for nothing. I could have messed things up beyond repair in my attempts to make sense of all this.

Thanks

Confused