This
is true, especially when there is so much love and closeness between
your fiancé and his family. You must be very careful
to allow him plenty of room to be with his family or you could alienate
yourself from them.
You also need to focus on yourself; apart from the relationship
with your finance. You need to.
- get back to work, even if it's part time. This will give
you financial and personal independence.
- develop friendships of your own. "Forsaking all others"
in marriage is ancient history. Friends get us through the
hard times and thoroughly enrich our lives.
I think if you pursue these two actions, you won't be so focused
on what your finance is doing all of the time. Besides, he'll
appreciate you much, much more when you have other interests.
Bob: One of the downsides to getting
married is that you don't always get to do things the way you did
when you were a kid. Your fiancée asked you to start
a new tradition for Christmas Day and you agreed. You can't
blame her for being disappointed when you wanted to back out on
the agreement. Work hard on a compromise, even if it spans
several years (e.g. this year will be just you two, next year will
be at her parents, the next year at your parents, etc.)
Some of the things you said lead me to believe that you have so
many outside interests that you don't have a lot of time for your
fiancée. This could be encouraging her to want more
time with you. Make sure you are giving her the time
and more importantly, the tenderness. When was the last time
you told her you loved her?
Final word to both Bob and Sue: If you can't
come to an agreement on how to get married (i.e. elope), you probably
shouldn't.
