Gloss,

I am an optimist in this situation. No relationship can sizzle all the time, and many fizzle for months before life gets pumped back in. I think you should ask yourself a few questions first.

• Is it really a physical thing or is there something else going on?
• Are you mad at him for some reason?
• Is there anything else wrong in the relationship?
• Is there a lack of trust?

All of these things can be sex-drive killers, and need to be addressed before the sex. If none of these things are a problem, then it may just be a physical thing.

I still wouldn't give up, though, particularly if this guy is a perfect match in every other way. Think about what does normally excite you - certain places, certain smells, certain music? Create these types of things around when the time arises. And don't be shy - if there is something specific that would really turn you on - ask him to do it! I think honesty is definitely the best policy here.

Buy some suggestive books and leave them for him to read - maybe highlighting passages that particularly interest you.

I agree, let me tell you how it started with my husband

Our sex drive is as much our own responsibility as our partners. See if you can take responsibility and make things better. Give these things a try and see what happens!

If There Isn't Any Sparkle, Just Be Friends.

A final note - I personally don't have much hope for a relationship where there isn't any sparkle of sexuality. I think sex is one of the best ways to be intimate, open,

I'd have to disagree. I think that there's more to it than a sexual spark!

vulnerable, giving, and loving with your partner. If it isn't happening, you may eventually have to re-evaluate your relationship and become friends rather than a couple.