Mare Answers

Dear Panel,

gosh! my boyfriend is *choking* me by degree! At first I felt taken care of when he was really concerned about me, like when I went out alone (even if I went shopping) or just visiting my family and friends but now I feel suffocated.

I mean I used to go out whenever I feel like it or on a whim but now I have to tell him where I am going or who I am going to see and how long will I be gone. I didn't cheat on him since we were together and I told him the truth so

WHAT MORE DOES HE WANT FROM ME?????

Choked

Mare Answers:

What does he want?

It doesn't matter what HE wants???

He wants you to be with him every second. He wants you to do only what he thinks is right. He wants you to be like him. And, nothing you do will be enough for him as long as you have an independent thought in your head.

You're in a tough spot. If you lay down the law and demand some independence, he's going to squeeze even harder. (Go ahead and try it, I bet that's what he'll do.)

Without any big declarations, you need to do more things on your own. Your friends probably miss seeing you around and would enjoy getting together.

If he is a reasonable person, he will see that your independence is no threat to him. If he can't deal with it, you might want to find someone who is more secure.

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