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A healthy relationship?
Premarital Sex Is
Both Unhealthy and Wrong
First of all, I don't
think your relationship is as healthy as you say it is. I believe
very strongly, and apparently your boyfriend does too, that premarital
sex
is not healthy, but wrong.
According to the Bible, sex is a very healthy aspect of a relationship
between a man and a woman committed in marriage. Anything outside
of that will ultimately lead to problems in the relationship, as
you are distorting something God made and using it outside the boundaries
of what he intended it for. You are already seeing the fallout of
that, as it has caused guilt and frustration in your relationship.
You Should Respect
His Beliefs
 If
you really care about what is best for your boyfriend's spiritual
and emotional growth, as well as the health of your relationship
long-term, you need to respect his
feelings about sex and
his desire to follow his convictions. If this is something you just
can't handle, then you need to be honest with yourself and leave
the relationship. If
you hang in there and try to convince him to violate his convictions,
there will only be resentment and guilt later in the relationship.
He is trying to do the right thing, and you need to respect him
for standing up for what he believes in. Besides, if the relationship
truly is healthy and happy and you are heading on the right track
toward marriage, your marriage will be stronger for having waited,
and you will see his resolve and self-discipline to live a pure
life benefit your marriage for years to come.
Do You Really Wan
A Man Whose Actions Go Against His Beliefs?
Ask yourself this: if
he is willing to abandon his vow to continue having sex with you,
what makes you think he will be able to keep his vow of purity to
you after you're
married? Appreciate his
resolve to take this seriously and to keep himself pure for his
God and for you. Do you want to marry a man who professes to have
faith in God but doesn't really follow through with that faith by
his actions? Of course we ALL make mistakes, but the important point
is that he wants to turn from his mistake and do the right thing.
If you honestly can't respect him for that, then you have a fundamental
difference in your faith and beliefs that will cause further conflict
in your relationship.
Real Love Is Unselfish
You might want to check
out Mary Beth Bonacci's "Real Love" web site at http://www.reallove.net.
It discusses the issues of sex and love from a Catholic perspective.
The banner title states "real love means never having to say, 'I'm
sorry I messed up your life.'" Keep that in mind as you consider
your current situation... I'm not trying to imply that you are messing
up his life, but my point is that real love seeks what is best for
the other person instead of selfishly holding onto something that
will bring you pleasure, at the other's expense. This is the opposite
of how the world views relationships these days, but God's principles
never change!
P.S.
Since you're Catholic,
you might want to check out some scriptures in your Bible to help
you with this problem: 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5, Hebrews 13:4, 2 Timothy
2:22, Romans 12:1-2, Philippians 4:13.
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