Dear Panel,
I am very ashamed to write this and I feel totally
wrong, but I need some advice.
I Settled For my Wife
I have been married for 4 years. My wife and
I met after I just ended a hurtful relationship. I had very
low self esteem at the time and I didn't think any woman would
ever want me. I settled for my wife and I tried to make myself
believe I really was in love with her.
I found that it probably wasn't meant to be
when I cheated on her with my ex that broke my heart. My,
then girlfriend found out about it and after a hurtful acceptance
of my apology, she took me back. A year and a half later,
we were married.
I Never Really Loved my Wife
At the time we married, I still did not feel
the love I had once felt for the woman who broke my heart
and I honestly believed that the friendship (not the love)
my wife and I had would carry us through our marriage. I spent
the next 2 1/2 years, managing to exist unhappily in our marriage.
I am sad to say that to this day when my wife and I kiss,
I have never felt that spark I once felt in my ex girlfriend
when we kissed.
I finally decided to try to add a spark to our
marriage by suggesting we have children.
A year later and 4 years into our marriage,
we have a beautiful son who I never regret for a minute. I
only regret the reason for wanting him.
Now, my wife and I are distant as ever. I feel
no love, I dont kiss her, I don't make love to her and I am
pretty sure I am emotionally starving her. I don't mean to
do this, but my attempts to find love with her are impossible
because I trully feel love never existed.
Should I Get a Divorce?
Now, I sit and I am considering divorce. There
has to be more in this world for the both of us. Am I wrong
in wanting a divorce? I don't even know if counseling will
help because how can a counselor create something that was
never there?
Please help and send advice...
Male Reader
Judith,
Gillian,
Charlie,
Mare, and
Jeannie
answer this question.
