Dear Nikita,

You are so right! You had a wonderful friendship, and sex ruined everything! I think that you were actually dishonest with him from the beginning.

Be Honest With Him

It's too late, she shouldn't tell him now!

You knew you loved him, but you were afraid to tell him, so you played along. You know what? I bet he felt the same way. You both were close friends and you were afraid that your love for each other was "too real." So you both acted cool, not serious.

You said that you can't even see your friends anymore because Paul will be there, and it has caused you to lose your connection with your group. I totally understand not wanting to make your friends act differently; and you're afraid they'll feel strange if they know about your feelings.

Talking To A Friend Can Help

I wonder if you can talk to a close friend in the group, privately, and figure out how to share your feelings with Paul. Now that he's involved with someone else, it's complicated. On the other hand, he might have run to the other girl because he's scared of his real feelings for you.

Find A Way To Talk To Him About It

Too late, she should forget talking to him and find somebody new

You and your friend can strategize. Maybe you can find a way to talk to Paul about it. Maybe your friend can talk to him about you first, and get a sense of whether or not his feelings for you were serious as well. You'll feel better about having the feelings if you can share them with a close friend.

Take care, Charlie