Dear Herb,

Treat Her Like You Would Want To Be Treated

Hmmmm. There's not a lot to go on here. Of course, the rule of thumb is to treat her like you would want to be treated. If your positions were reversed and you think you would want to know, then yes, you should tell her.

Few Things Are Black and White

Don't make a big joke out of this.

This may also depend on that all important bit of information that you're withholding.

I agree. Some things require a judgement call.

There are very few things in this world that are black and white; there's a lot of gray in there.

What She Needs To Know

Here are some examples:

1. You have AIDs. Yes, you should tell her.
   
   
2. A mutual friend thinks she's ugly. No, you certainly don't have to tell her, and you should tell her to keep her yap shut.
   
   
3. You slept with her sister. Oh my. This is content for another letter, or tune in to MTV's LoveLine.
   
   
4. You're gay. Well, you could tell her gently and make sure she knows she didn't do it to you.

I hope these examples clear things up for you.

– Lefty