Dear 'Not Ready'

A friend of mine was recently in this situation, only she was the younger woman that had the weird interoffice mutual infatuation. The guy she was with was living with his girlfriend of several years and would pay for hotels to spend time with my friend.

Maybe your boyfriend hasn't strayed this much, but it turned out the guy was manic depressive. It wouldn't surprise me if your boyfriend couldn't use some Prozac as well.

You're so right, Alicia! How can she not see that this guy is a loser.

How dramatic does it have to get for you to drop his ass? If he loved you he would find a way to kick his little habit.

Just like Nick, it sounds like he is getting his cake, and gets to eat it too

This situation is ugly for all parties involved, but while he is getting your unconditional love and hers, what are you getting out of it?

Worse, his apologies are just to get rid of his guilt

His apologies and crying don't change the fact that while he's in bed with you he is thinking about her...that while you dream of your future together he just hopes you'll be his backfall if things don't work out between them.

If you wonder why Alicia sounds so bitter, check her Bio Update.

What would make you stay with somebody who is being so honest about not being able to commit to you? He has got so much power over you and the longer you stick around, the more you'll succumb to it, accepting that you can't have him to yourself.

He needs a good kick in the head to get over his infatuation...you might need one to wake up and move on with your life. Nobody deserves to settle for 2nd best and nobody deserves to be treated like 2nd best.

It's time for you to take control of your own life without him and if you're not ready, as you say you aren't, prepare yourself for inevitable heartbreak

. -Alicia