Dear Panel,

I have been in a relationship with a 35 year old man for two years. I am 38. We have a great deal in common, love one another and also have a wonderful sex life.

What's the problem then?

In a nut shell it is that he has this infatuation for this girl in his office who is 13 years younger than him. He says he cannot commit to me because he is so drawn to her and her to him.

They had a brief encounter for two weeks during a separation that we had. She went back to her boyfriend and now she is telling my boyfriend that she is leaving her boyfriend and wants to be with him. He has had this thing for her for 4 years.

I have no idea what to do.

He says he has no explanation as to why he is so attracted to her, other than the way she makes him feel. He has asked me for a time out from our relationship to sort through all this.

Do I take him back again?? Do infatuations ever go away without really experiencing a relationship with the person to learn what they are really all about?? I feel clueless.

My boyfriend loves me...I know without any doubt. He cries to me when he talks about his ambivalence and silliness that he feels being so drawn to her.

Do I let him go and let him do his thing??

What to do what to do???