It doesn't really matter what the woman's age is.

It doesn't really matter if he can or can't explain his attraction to her. (Who can?)

It doesn't matter if it's "infatuation" or "real love."

What matters is what is going on between you and your boyfriend.

After 4 years, it's more than an infatuation.

What matters is that your boyfriend is not dedicated to you, even if he does love you. He's been infatuated with someone else for four years. That's enough evidence that he's not committed to you.

He is Trying to Get Rid of His Guilt

To make matters worse, he's sharing his pain with you. Is it possible he's doing this to get rid of the guilt he's having?

Unless you are one of those rare people who can share a lover, this isn't the guy for you. Don't wait until he decides who he is going to be with. Get the strength to walk away from this mess and not let your boyfriend control the outcome.

In the future, be sure to hold out for someone who is nuts, infatuated, has a thing for, and is dedicated to you. There are plenty of men out there with this potential.