Keep in mind that you are both in a very stressful situation - you have a wedding planned in August and suddenly no way to pay for it. You are understandably worried and so is he.

Men & Women are Different

After consulting with my boyfriend, he suggested I explain how men and women handle stress differently (I am not saying this is universal, but does seem to often be the case):

Women like to figure out a plan of action for dealing with the problem. They like to sit down, talk about the problem, figure out what to do next and then what the following steps will be.

Men, on the other hand, prefer not to deal with problems - the more they deal with them, the bigger and more overwhelming the problem seems, so they just kind of wait it out until it doesn't seem as tragic anymore and then do something.

Explain it to Your Fiance, S L O W L Y

Let your fiancé know that talking about the problem and working out a solution will help ease your mind. Let him know that you are willing to talk about only one problem at a time but need to start with the biggest one - how to pay for your August wedding.

On the other hand, if they take care of the little things as they come up, they won't be a problem when they need to discuss big things.

The mess in the kitchen or who is going to go grocery shopping can wait until another time (or whatever other items are stressing you out). Then ask him to sit down and help you figure out what to do. This will be much more comfortable for both of you - less risk of you getting mad at each other and more likely to just being constructive time.

Good luck. I'm sure things will work out if you each spend some time thinking about how the other person is feeling.

I don't get the sense that his tantrums are scary - but if there are ANY WARNING SIGNS at all that he might get out of control some day, taking some time out and at your parents would be a good idea.