Dear Aimee:

I can relate to what your going through.

About 8 months ago I was in a relationship, and I always felt I was coming on too strong. I would call him, and go visit him at work. I felt like I was doing all the work in the relationship. Then I would think that I was doing something wrong by calling him and visiting him at work. I'm not the type to tell my boyfriends everything about me, or my secrets.

So I kept my distance. I had to learn to trust them, by telling them little things at a time. I would make sure that I felt comfortable telling them things about me. If I didn't feel comfortable at that time, I would wait until I did.

After 7 Months, You Shouldn't Worry

I think you shouldn't worry so much about coming on too strong. I mean you've been dating for 7 months, so you should be able to call him when you want to. If he wants you to call him more often, gradually call him an extra time in one day until you feel more comfortable.

Now there's a novel concept—you mean actually communicate?

If you still feel like you're coming on to strong, then discuss this with him. Maybe then he can reassure you that you aren't coming on too strong.

Some Men DO Like Games

It's not just men. As I said in a previous answer, women need a challenge too.

I think some men love women who are distant. They sometimes feel like its a little game, like your playing hard-to-get. Some men find that very attractive. Other men don't. They think maybe they are doing something wrong.

I think your best bet is to tell your boyfriend that you feel you have to be distant from him, and you feel you're coming on too strong. He will most likely listen to you, and you guys can work it out.

Just remember to be honest. Lying will get you no where.

Dana