|
Probably the hardest
thing for me was dealing with all the turns that my first serious
relationship took- the good ones and the bad ones.
Since you have never
been through any of this stuff before, trying to figure out how
to handle each situation can definitely be a difficult task.
From what I understand,
you have this boyfriend who you no longer feel as strongly for and
you don't know how to handle it. Should you break things off or
should you not just to spare his feelings?
The
Longer I Waited, the Harder it Was
I had an experience sort
of similar where I was involved with a guy that I cared about very
much but there came a point in time when I realized that this was
no longer as perfect a situation as I had thought it was and so
I had to make a decision.
At first I didn't break
things off and at the time I thought it was a good idea BUT later
I realized that by prolonging things, I ended up making my life
even more difficult.
The longer you leave
things, the harder they become to handle in the long run. I know
that while this is a very huge deal for you right now, you will
realize later on that it was just a normal progression. It was a
simple transition in your life that seemed much more complex at
the time.
Act
On Your Feelings
Keep in mind that you
are still very young and you will have plenty of break ups and relationships
in your future. I think that what you need to do, if you no longer
feel the same way about this guy, is act on those feelings. Be open
and honest with him and talk about it. Maybe talking about it will
make things better or maybe he will end up agreeing with you. Either
way, by talking to HIM about it, you will be able to take care of
the situation in one way or another.
From personal experience,
my advice would be not to put off doing something you know should
be done, and keep in mind the fact that he is probably the first
of many boyfriends to come.
Learn
to Love Yourself First
The thing that worries
me the most about your question is the part where you talk about
never liking yourself until you met him and not understanding why
the guy likes you.
It seems to me like you
have much more important things to deal with, with regards to this.
You need to learn to love yourself before you worry about anyone
else loving you. You shouldn't need to have someone tell you he
loves you for you to feel good about yourself.
In my opinion you need
to work on loving yourself and getting to know yourself before you
even consider getting involved in any more relationships. While
having a boyfriend there to tell you he loves you and make you feel
good about yourself is perfectly fine, it should not be the only
time that you ever feel good about yourself and you certainly shouldn't
have to wonder why the guy likes you.
You need to learn what
it is about yourself that you like so that you will be able to understand
why this guy or any guy will like you in the future. You are still
very young and innocent and yes, even though you hate to think it,
very naive. Not having a good sense of yourself can end up meaning
that you could make some mistakes down the line because you believed
that it would make someone like you more or it would make you feel
better about yourself.
What's my point? I think
you need to be on your own for a while and learn to love yourself
before you get involved in any other relationships.
You cant truly be happy
in a relationship unless you are able to love yourself and not question
other peoples love for you.
|
