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Dear
Panel,
I
have what I guess can be considered a problem. You see, people
around me consider me unbalanced, warped, or completely out of
my mind.
The problem is that people, especially my mother, want me to at
least pretend to be interested in a relationship.
The problem with that is, I'm not. I'm a 21 year old guy and figure
I'm old enough to know what I want to do with my life. Outside
of sex, I see no tangible benefit of a relationship and I can
get sex if I really want it. Usually even the mention of the subject
will launch me into a 10 minute profanity laced rant about what
a waste of my time it is.
To me, a girlfriend is just something you have to write into your
day planner to schedule the stuff you want to do around. Plus,
all that cuddling and hand holding and acting cutsey makes me
ill to the point where I have forbid it from happening in my presence.
I have big plans for my future and love, marriage, and a family
are not part of it. My ultimate goal is to be fabulously wealthy
no matter what.
I will freely admit I'm not a very warm person, I'm usually very
cynical, I have a depression problem, and a very violent temper.
I even stumble on giving compliments. I just don't like opening
up to people it makes me feel weak and vulnerable. If I'm ever
in a position where I am dependent on a person I will get out
no matter what. Anything I do that is a reflection on how I think
and feel is locked away from public view.
I want the people around me to know only what I let them know
about me. Personally I see nothing wrong with living my life as
I see fit but I've been called by others everything from sexist
to insane to an "obnoxious self-centered jerk" (thanks Mom).
I
don't think I have a problem, but obviously other people do.
Am
I really nuts or are the people around me trying to rule my life?
King
Bitter
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