I disagree. He must choose.

I think it's possible for Chris to continue in your relationship without having to choose between you and his family -- but it will take some work and patience on both your parts.

Is He Willing to Make a Commitment?

It seems like the real issue here is whether Chris is willing to make a commitment to you or not. If he truly loves you, then he would not be afraid or ashamed to let everyone know -- including his family -- that you belong together. Since you are back together again after all that has happened between you, he must care for you.

Bull! She shouldn't feel any pressure to have anything to do with a family that hates her.

I admire the fact that Chris cares about his mother's feelings and opinions, and also that she is looking out for his best interests. I think you both need to make an effort to establish a healthy relationship with his family, but also to decide for yourselves what your relationship will become instead of being swayed by what the family wants.

Nobody is perfect, but if you are committed to each other, your love will grow and his mom will see the good that comes out of your relationship. She is probably not seeing this because he is not conveying this to her, or because she does not really know you. His family will not be able to accept you until they see that Chris accepts you and loves you unconditionally. He needs to set the example for them to follow by standing up for you.

You Gave Them Some Reasons Not to Trust You

You also both need to be willing to forgive each other for the past and make a fresh start. A healthy relationship is based on unconditional love and forgiveness. This does not, however, always take away the hurt feelings or bitterness of the past. You may want to consider repaying some of those past expenses. This could do more to erase any hurt feelings or doubt from Chris and his mom than even a great heart to heart talk.

You also need to forgive him for things he has said about you while he was hurting over your broken relationship several years ago. He may not be able to take back any of the things he said, but you can show Chris and his family that you ARE good for him and that things have changed for the better between you.

Show Them That They Can Trust You Again

Demonstrate by your love for Chris that they can trust you again. Maybe his mother needs to see you at a family function to know that you are interested in establishing a relationship with the family and that there are no hard feelings.

If they still choose not to accept you, then at least you have done your part. (And try to be patient -- it will take some time!)